It's a strange night. My baby is asleep in another room and I am able to type with both hands and all ten fingers. This is a rare treat for me! I usually have computer time while cuddling and rocking Anna, and I furtively type with one finger while she falls asleep.

This is the time of night I always wrote my poetry. It was my therapy and it helped me heal from extensive abuse and a dozen miscarriages. Poetry came so easily when I was full of pain.

But now.... now it's nearly midnight and I listen to the hum of the computer and see the same stars that used to bring so many words, and instead I sit and think about my daughters.

All of the chaos of the day is gone, and I'm back to marvelling at how blessed we are. Wordless, I can only offer this.


So Much Happiness

My girls, there is so much of you
for me to be enchanted by.
I sit with my dumb smile
without a word in the world to pin on you.
Victoria, your laugh is like long ribbons in the wind
chasing you in neon as you run.
It travels up me, into me,
and pushes my lips into laughter.
Anna, your coy grins
are so full of charm my breasts swell
and your softness and joy
are like sunlight filling up a room.
It is too much, this much
magic in one small family. We are so blessed
I bow and back out of the room.
I never dreamed of this much pink and blonde,
this much warm and soft, life
cascading through the rooms.
I am so in love with all of us,
I have nothing but this to write.

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All works on this site Alicia Bayer unless otherwise noted.
Don't take it - that would be rude.