{"id":136,"date":"2009-06-18T11:12:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-18T11:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/magicalchildhood.wordpress.com\/2009\/06\/18\/when-kids-are-without-a-father-on-fathers-day\/"},"modified":"2009-06-18T11:12:00","modified_gmt":"2009-06-18T11:12:00","slug":"when-kids-are-without-a-father-on-fathers-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/magicalchildhood.com\/blog\/2009\/06\/18\/when-kids-are-without-a-father-on-fathers-day\/","title":{"rendered":"When Kids are Without a Father on Father’s Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

I know what it’s like to grow up without a father.  My parents divorced when I was two and my mother hid me from my father for the rest of his life.  <\/p>\n

Once, when I was in fourth grade, she decided that I needed a father figure so she signed me up for a club called FAD — Fathers And Daughters.  She asked if any of the fathers would be willing to "adopt" me for the club and one very nice dad agreed.  I went to the club and shared him with his real daughter during those times.  I even got a T-shirt.  Then, just before the father-daughter ski trip, he told my mother that his daughter was upset that she had to share him with me and that he had to stop.  That was the end of my dad’s club experience.  It was a bit of a let-down!<\/p>\n

When you grow up without a father (or father figure) in your life, it’s easy to grow up feeling like an outsider.  When the teacher asks what your father does for a living, when the other kids are bragging or complaining about their fathers and especially when Father’s Day comes around, you can feel like the only kid without a dad (even though that is hardly the case).  You can feel like a puzzle with a piece missing, or like a broken vase that has been put back together with gaps.  <\/p>\n

You can also feel like you’re not good enough or your dad would have stayed, lived, found you, fought for you, cared.<\/p>\n

Obviously, none of this is true.  Fathers can be absent for many reasons, from mental illness to divorce to prison to death.  Some just can’t handle their responsibility and leave.  Fathers can also be gone for long periods because of things like military service and jobs that require extensive travel.  <\/p>\n

It is never children’s fault if their father is gone.  It can still feel true to kids, though, and we need to be aware of that.  It can also be hard this time of year when there is such a focus on dads.<\/p>\n

Here are some ways to make Father’s Day easier without a father in the picture.<\/p>\n