"Except in rare times of great stress or danger, there is no reason why we cannot say ‘No’ to children in just as kind a way as we say ‘Yes’. Both are words. Both convey ideas which even tiny children are smart enough to grasp. One says, ‘We don’t do it that way’, the other says ‘That’s the way we do it’. Most of the time, that is what children want to find out. Except when overcome by fatigue, curiosity, or excitement, they want to do it right, do as we do, fit in, take part."
– John Holt
HELP!!!!!! I have a 3yr old granddaughter who is totally out of control time outs don’t work spankings are out of the question, and I’ve even tried explaining to her why she shouldn’t or should do things she is extremely smart but she is a bull when she wants something any suggestions?
Can you be more specific about how she’s out of control? Is she getting into things, breaking things, not doing as told??? Different things work with different behaviors. I found it most helpful at that age to head off troublesome behavior before it escalated and before things were set up to go badly. For instance, don’t go shopping around nap time or when she’s hungry. Sometimes it helps to make things a game like most kids hate to leave the park so we’d always race them to the car. I used to have a post-it note on my fridge that I called my “troublesome times checklist” that asked “Has she had enough….” and then listed things like food, sleep, exercise, one-on-time, etc. We all get extra cranky when we’re tired, hungry, sad, etc. At that age, some of my kids had decidedly more troublesome behavior and harder times managing their moods when they ate or drank certain foods too. For several of my kids, artificial food coloring was a trigger. Dairy made one of my kids very emotional, and sugar made most of them more up and down in moods and energy levels. If you have more specific examples, I can share more of what helped with our five kiddos. Good luck and hugs!