An Open Letter to My Daughter,
After the terrorist attacks on the U.S.

Dear Victoria,

You're too young to ask me many of the questions I feel a need to answer. You're oblivious to much of what is going on in the world right now, but still I feel the need to talk to you about this. I need to reassure you that it will all be okay, maybe because I need to reassure myself.

Some very bad people did some very bad things last week and hurt a lot of people. You've asked why and I haven't been able to explain it very well. It's hard to explain hatred that senseless and savage. It's hard to even comprehend how someone could be so devoid of humanity. It's scary to think that people so full of evil would wish us dead, although I'd never tell you that they do.

I can't explain their actions or why they succeeded. It would be easy to point to the renewed faith, strength and brotherhood throughout our nation and the world and say that there was a reason for this tragedy. But that would be heartlessly unfair to the 7,000 innocent people who should not have died.

I can't explain any of it, and I can't promise that other bad things will not happen at the hands of these angry psychopaths. I can't even truthfully say that I'm not scared.

There are some things I can tell you, though, baby.

I can tell you that I will keep you safe no matter what, for as long as there's breath in my body.

I can tell you that we have a strong nation and a world of friends who will help us.

I can tell you that goodness always eventually prevails. I can tell you that I know in every bit of my bones that the universe is good and life is magical. Nobody can take that away from you without your permission. I can tell you that I will love you throughout time immortal and look at you and marvel at how unbelievably beautiful you are and how deeply I love you.

I can tell you that every day of my life that I have with you is a priceless gift that they can't touch, and enough to make me happy forever. I can tell you that for whatever reason, I know it will all be okay.

Sometimes I watch a little too much news, think a little too much, and start to get worried again. I'm sorry I've been distant and distracted lately. Our life is so wonderful and it's a treasure I don't want to lose.

Let me do a little bit of worrying for us right now. You go on with your living and laughing. I'll try to keep it down. I just can't help it.

But to make up for it, I will live the rest of our moments as fully as I can. I'll join you in arts and crafts, read that Happy-Go-Hoppy book one more time, bop outside in the fall air to run and play instead of puttering inside, and have some serious cuddle sessions on the couch where we'll just hang out and talk.

I've reassured myself that almost every generation of parents has had something to eat themselves up about. The Cuban Missile Crisis. World Wars. Nuclear Weapons. I remember mothers on the news when I was a little girl. I was aware of their fear, but I played with my Barbies and thought of it as unreal. I am pretty sure this is all unreal to you, too, thankfully.

I hope this ends soon. Life is never that easy, though.

It's out of my hands. My worry will not help the president. My fear will not stop bad things from happening. So as much as I can, darling, I'm going to ignore it all completely and act like an idiot with you.

If the time comes when I need to worry, I'll do it for us. Right now, I'm going to go peek at your sleeping face and grin and love you.

Nobody can take that from me.

I love you baby,